People

Bundle of Joy

GURMUKH SINGH [United Kingdom]

In his congratulatory e-mail on the birth of our grand-daughter on Sunday, July 7, the celebrated writer Dr I J Singh of New York wrote: “Congratulations! Do keep in mind that little girls have their fathers (and grandfathers) wrapped around their little finger from day one,  and that's as it should be.”

My youngest  brother, Dya Singh of Australia, wrote: "A baby is a 'bundle of joy' - may she bring plenty of joy to your household. I have always been biased in favour of daughters anyway ..."

I am not "biased" in any way, but cannot resist saying that daughters do have an edge over sons when it comes to affection for parents. We have two sons, both gave us much happiness as they grew up; but my wife has always complained, "If only we also had a daughter, she would have been such great company and help ..."  

My two bhain ji's (our late elder sister) daughters remain close and ever affectionate, even though living away in the US and Canada.

As soon as the global family’s networks started buzzing on the arrival of the little new family member, grand parents on both sides (daadkay and naankay) agreed that the morning's sangat vaak that day from Guru Granth Sahib should be the inspiration for naming the baby also.

The verse started with the words "sukh nidhaan ..." 

Therefore, the letter “S” -- ‘sassaa’ in Punjabi -- will be used to select the baby’s first name.

My interpretation of the two opening words of the verse -- sukh nidhaan -- is "treasure of happiness and contentment", because "sukh" is a peculiarly Punjabi word and I equate it with a state of contentment, bliss and harmony.

The new arrival, our little grand-daughter, is a reflection of sukh nidhaan and has brought great joy to our family spread out across the diaspora. 

The last time I wrote about girls some years ago was about an unhappy issue:  "Female foeticide: The real issue," and also commented on an article in The Economic Times of India titled "Girls Lesser Children of God", by Arun Maira. 

Around the same time, a concerned young Sikh from Birmingham, United Kingdom, invited me to review a short film about the birth of girls in Indian families to give a Sikh perspective.

I recall that the film was well directed and brought home the truth about prejudice against daughters in Indian society, much against the Guru’s teachings and the mores in all civilised societies, not just Sikhi.

Two of my related articles are about the status of women in Sikhism and the active role of women in the Sikh tradition.

As Prof Prabhjot Kaur wrote in a well researched article on the same subject, “It has been said that the status accorded to women is the touchstone of the civilization of society.”

It is not my intention to go into the oft repeated and well rehearsed arguments trying to hail the already well-documented role of honour to women in Sikhism.

The holistic view of gurbani gives a clear head-start to women, who have the natural (psychophysiological) attributes for achieving the full purpose of this life.  Men have to make that much extra effort to develop those qualities.

Our Scripture describes the human soul as the “naar” (female) seeking union with the Creator Lord to attain the status of “sohagan” (the happy bride). The lonely soul in every human being – regardless of gender – is longing to become “sohagan” through union with the “kanth” - the Husband, Creator Being. 

The sohagan remains in a state of harmonious bliss and equipoise (sehaj anand). The sohagan is the “first” in the human family as “sabh parvaaray mahe shrest ...”, with “batti sulakhni” (32 qualities).

These are, according to Bhai Kahn Singh Nabha’s “Mahan Kosh” - beauty, cleanliness, modesty, humility, concord, observance of religion, intelligence, knowledge, service, compassion, truth, dedicated love of spouse, purity of mind, patience, frugality, beneficence, sobriety, chivalry, active life, tending to the house, respect of elders, proficiency in music, poetry, painting, domestic science and embroidery, respectful attention to guests, and bringing up children.

The Groom’s attention (nadar) can only be sought by cultivating these qualities.

A daughter brings deep spiritual joy to a gursikh family. By contrast, boisterous and noisy celebrations announce the arrival of sons in traditional Indian families. Frankly, I find the loud wasteful parties quite boring and keep away from them. 

When patakas (fireworks) explode up to early morning in an Indian neighbourhood, we know that “It is a boy!” We are also reminded that such practices amongst those who linger in them, are uncivilized! 

As a girl-child grows, through her many roles, especially as daughter and sister to her brothers, later as wife and mother, “she is able to change the destiny of a family.” 

Women, as mothers, can change the destinies of communities and nations.

To quote from an earlier article, “A woman must have own personality and must be bold and chivalrous when required. Otherwise, the situation described in gurbani would arise when ‘Women have become submissive, while men have become tyrants’ [GGS:142]. Sikh women like Mata Sundari (wife of the Tenth Master) who took a keen interest in Sikh polity after the Guru’s death, and Mata Bhago who led Sikh warriors in battle, have shown that women should be bold and take action whenever the situation arises.” 

It was the brave Queen Jindaa(n) who actually flung a woman’s garment at the bickering Sikh generals who came to see her during the First Anglo-Sikh War, as a symbolic taunt, urging them to fight to win!

The arrival of a baby girl in a Sikh family, therefore, is nothing but a great blessing. The Guru smiles on the family. 

That is how we feel as grand-parents. As we hold the little bundle of joy in our hands, we do feel that the Guru is smiling on the family.


July 23, 2013
 

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