Roundtable
The Roundtable Open Forum - Round Seven: Dec 16 - 22
EDITOR
The Rules of the forum are posted here on the right, and need to be followed strictly by all participants.
The following is this week's (Dec 16 - 22, 2009) topic for discussion, which should focus on the questions posed therein:
VACATION PLANS
THE FACTS
1 The holiday season is upon us. As soon as schools close, many of us in the diaspora will head off to Punjab and India to be with the near and dear ones we've left behind.
2 The annual migration emanates not just from all the Sikh settlements around the globe but also within India, where many of us are scattered outside Punjab.
3 It is also an opportunity to introduce our children to Punjabi culture, Sikh history, and the important landmarks and watering holes of our past. To reinforce what they have been exposed to in the past. And to polish up their Punjabi language skills a bit.
4 Some us will recall how, when we were young, our parents took us back to Punjab to do a motor trip around the state, visiting all of the historical gurdwaras. Or on a visit to the Takhts - especially the remote ones, such as in Nanded or Patna or Anandpur. Or historical sites in other parts of the land - such as the Chunar Fort where Rani Jindan had been held prisoner before she escaped in a dramatic getaway to Nepal. Or Varanasi where Kabir had plied his multiple ‘trades' - as weaver, poet and mystic.
5 And the ultimate destination - Amritsar!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER
- Are you planning to visit, or have you recently visited ‘back home'?
- Where is 'back home' for you?
- How often do you do it? What is the draw? Family? Friends? Travel?
- What do you plan to do on this holiday vis-à-vis introducing/ exposing your children to Punjabi culture and Sikh history?
- What have you done in the past (especially if you're not going this year)?
- Do the children enjoy it? Do they learn from the experience? What?
- Any suggestions/ advice for parents re children of different ages?
- Once they grow up, do the 'children' follow up on their own? With their children?
Conversation about this article
1: Kirtan Kaur (Boston, U.S.A.), December 16, 2009, 8:48 AM.
We did the rounds of all the gurdwaras in Punjab and the rest of India over the course of three different trips, while our children grew from 5yrs - 9 yrs to 12 yrs - 16 yrs of age. More recently, we have started stopping over in England, either on our way out or on the return trip, where we check out the museums, art and artefacts, and places of interest relating to Sikh history. The United Kingdom promises to keep us fascinated for several trips more since there is so much there for us to discover re things Sikh ... not only in England and Scotland, but also across the pond in France, Belgium, Holland, etc.
2: Taran Singh (Texas, U.S.A.), December 16, 2009, 9:09 AM.
Amritsar is indeed the ideal stop to take our children to, for refueling them with our history and culture. Every five years or so, we've made it a point to visit the city and stay within walking distance of the Darbar Sahib for a week or so. The kids have loved it at all ages. There's so much to see within a short radius of the city center. And then, there's the shopping in the local 'souks'! And, ah yes, the food! You can't beat a week in Amritsar, believe me.
3: Sarjit Singh (Bangalore, India), December 16, 2009, 11:48 AM.
We have done a motor trip around Punjab with our kids twice over the course of the last decade or so. Nothing beats it in terms of a full immersion into Punjabi history, culture, food, architecture, language ... and, I agree, shopping! Our next trip is actually being planned for early in the new year. Our kids, all in their early or mid-teens, have demanded it!
4: Ajaib Singh (Hamilton, Ontario, Canada), December 16, 2009, 4:50 PM.
The main reason we take our children back from time to time is that they get to practice their Punjabi and pick up a better vocabulary and idiom. The rest - visiting relatives, shopping, sight-seeing, etc. - is a bonus. No matter how hard we try, our Punjabi gets neglected and therefore stagnant here. But a mere two to four weeks back in Punjab does wonders, and we reap the benefits throughout ... until the next trip. As a result of the last trip, our fourteen year old got into serious reading - in Punjabi! It began with her practicing her reading skills on signs and notice-boards as we passed them by, until it gave her some confidence. Then, she picked up a few basic books in a bookstore in the bazaar ... and off she went with it!
5: I.J. Singh (New York, U.S.A.), December 16, 2009, 5:36 PM.
The whole world now realizes that the best way to learn history, culture and language is by immersion. The best foreign language schools, too, teach by immersion. The benefits of an annual or a bi-annual trek back to Punjab are there. But then what we further need is to go through critically what we have picked up - reinforce what is true to Sikhi and its traditions and be prepared to jettison what is not. That might take a year or two. And then it is time to revisit and to add to what was learned and carry forward what is learned. The fun and enjoyment of travel is to be celebrated but keep in mind also the need to separate the wheat from the chaff. Also remember the words of Thomas Woolf: "You can never go back home again."
6: Kashmira Singh (Vermont, U.S.A.), December 17, 2009, 1:49 PM.
When we took our two girls - then 13 and 15 - back to Punjab a few years ago, we noticed a marked difference in their self-confidence and self-esteem upon our return. They had suddenly flowered into fully-confident individuals. We canvassed with them what they had experienced during their stay in Punjab. What we garnered was that it was life-transforming for them to be in a society, albeit temporarily, in which Sikhs were not a minority. It struck a chord for me - true, all their lives, their only experience had been as members of a minority! To see others like them in a majority role changed their perspective drastically - of course, for the better. They said they no longer felt odd ones out in an environment where they were clearly a miniscule minority.
7: HarKirtan Singh (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), December 18, 2009, 10:50 AM.
I'd urge all Sikhs, especially in the diaspora, to visit West Punjab in Pakistan. It's a total delight ... identifiable Sikhs are treated as royalty. And there's so-o-o much of our history and heritage there to see. If a trip back to Punjab (India) does wonders for our kids - and it's true, it does - you wait and see what a visit to, say, Lahore, will do for them. I personally think it's a must for all Sikhs today - it'll show you how miserable the Indians have become towards Sikhs and how delightful true Punjabi culture really is in the part of Punjab we lost during Partition. I go to Pakistan often, with or without my family, depending on their availability - to explore further and further. However, a caveat: please do check out the political situation in the local areas where you plan your visit, before you leave. One needs to be careful, but don't be turned off the news of violence here and there. India is ten times more violent and crazy ... it doesn't deter you from going there, does it? All we need to be is careful and vigilant.
8: Taran Singh (Mumbai, India), December 18, 2009, 3:20 PM.
Punjab has to offer so much vis-a-vis cultural, historical and religious tourism. But better facilities will only be available if we visit it regularly and avail of these sites. And demand better facilities and services! The rest will follow.
9: Inderjit Kaur (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), December 18, 2009, 3:32 PM.
I have done my bit in introducing our children to Punjab and Sikhi. Now, I go to Amritsar alone every year for at least a week, and do nothing but spend quiet time at the Darbar Sahib. It makes everything worthwhile ... the rest of the year is easier to handle, and there is always the next trip lighting up the horizon. Our children? They are smitten with the Harmandar as well, but they usually add a few other places to their itinerary. They also don't go as often because their lives are still in the "busy" phase. Once they have their own children, I'm sure they'll follow suit.
10: Dr..Karnail Singh (Bidston Wirral, Merseyside,.U.K.), December 22, 2009, 7:49 AM.
Have you heard about the English couple who adopted a new born Chinese baby and started Chinese lessons so they could understand what the baby would say when it started to talk! We are encouraged to seek the company of the sangat if we wish to learn what is important in this life. So, it's important to acquaint our offsprings to the culture that we hold valuable. I was lucky to be able take the opportunity during a period of in-between jobs to carry out my plan to visit India with my teenage children. We traveled overland to India (via some 11 countries) in a home made motor home (for cheapness) and were away for nearly a whole year and were able to see quite a bit of India including Punjab. I feel if I have done anything worthwhile for my children, it was the experience of this trip which has set them up for life. I know that not everybody is able to do this but I think it's VITAL that children are acquainted with our culture as much and often as possible even if only once.
11: Sanmeet Kaur (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), December 22, 2009, 12:57 PM.
Like many of us who make up the Sikh diaspora, I am from India, my husband is from East Asia and our daughter is born a Canadian. When I was pregnant with our daughter Jeeya, I often thought about where our roots lay. This was a first - and I haven't found a satisfactory answer more than three years later. It is probably because of our unique history that we have lost and found our hearts in so many places - Sri Harmandar Sahib, Lahore, the Chunar Fort, England, Punjab - and so we rightfully call all these our homes. Whether it is spirituality, family, friends or adventure that beckon and even if it is only for a brief time span, we return - so that our children can learn a little bit more about us and so, themselves. So that we can indulge in the comfort of all that is familiar and refresh ourselves, we return to find our measure of peace. Going back home with kids is always a win-win situation. Traveling is, in itself a great learning experience. Add to it history and culture, that too our own and personal memories we recount for the kids through the trip. As Kashmira Singh pointed out, it does wonders for their confidence to know that there are many who like them are different and stand out. And Kirtan Kaur has all the right stages (and ages) pinned down - at 5, 9, 12 and 16 years. I remember fondly a car trip we took through Punjab as kids. We visited all the main gurdwaras and also stopped wherever we saw a Nishaan Sahib. We often joked that there was no point in putting your shoes back on as we soon lost count of how many gurdwaras we visited on that trip. Coming from Bombay, the culture of Punjab was a novelty for my brothers and me. Not only was it a great history lesson but we were also exposed to the generous, hearty nature of Punjab. I still wonder at the selflessness of the man who all aggressively flailed our car down, thrusting cool glasses of lassi in our hands. Somehow he felt our discomfort in the summer heat as we drove through far more than his - standing on the open road. Respect and awe, and pride - "This only happens in Punjab", we often say. I pray that Punjab stays like that forever. I figure we all have a story like that, a feeling like that - whether it is Punjab on the Indian side or now in Pakistan, the land calls. And even the mightiest tree must delve into its roots for sustenance.
12: Ravinder Singh Taneja (Westerville, Ohio, U.S.A.), December 22, 2009, 6:37 PM.
For me, 'back home' is wherever I happen to be! But trips to India are a regular feature, mostly driven by family requirements, not by vacation plans. The connection is important, especially with travel and communication being relatively easy. My daughter loves going back - in large part due to the attention and pampering from relatives. But she does enjoy Amritsar and other historic gurdwaras. Trips to Punjab should be viewed as supplements - the real grounding has to happen in our homes, wherever that might be.