Images from India today: first from bottom - a street dentist at work. Second from bottom - a baby admires a live Cobra snake. Third from bottom - One of six signs in the country marking spots where you cannot spit.
Roundtable
Etiquette For The Commonwealth Games
The Roundtable Open Forum # 41, August 11 - 17
EDITOR
The Rules of the forum are posted here on the right, and need to be followed strictly by all participants.
The following is this week's (August 11 - 17) topic for discussion, which should focus on the questions posed therein:
ETIQUETTE FOR THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES
Britain's national tourism agency has recently issued detailed guidelines for its citizens on the etiquette of dealing with the hundreds of thousands of foreign visitors who are expected to be coming to London for the 2012 Summer Olympics.
Refrain from hugging someone from India, is one of them. Also, from touching them, says another.
Hm-m-m-m!
It's not clear whether it has anything to do with desi hygiene ... or with the recent news of the deadly ‘New Delhi Flu' bug - "New Delhi metallo-beta-lactamase", or NDM-1 for short - which is hastily being circulated around the world! The news, that is, and the bug as well.
The Indians, it appears, have come up with no such etiquette protocol in preparation for the Commonwealth Games being held in New Delhi in early October.
Probably because they've preoccupied with their propaganda machine, concentrating on maligning Sikhs who, they prophesy, will terrorize the games. [No evidence of this, says everybody else, in India and around the world! But the desis are intent on continuing with their web of lies. Why? Only the devis and devtas that rule India know!]
This is nothing new. You may recall they did the same during the Asian Games in New Delhi in 1982. It was during the early years of the mischief they've been continually obsessed with since then - in dishonestly and maliciously maligning the most elite, productive and functional section of their own population.
Well, if they're busy, maybe we can help them on this project.
So, here's the idea:
Let us provide some guidelines to the unsuspecting visitors who are planning to descend on New Delhi in early October.
What can they expect during their stay in India?
What should they avoid?
What should they watch out for?
What protocol should they observe?
For example: Do what the Indians do - Don't spit on the 'Don't Spit' signs, but everywhere else is fine!
Beware of snakes - especially in the toilet.
If you get a toothache, suffer through it! Going to a street dentist is not an exciting option!
August 12, 2010
Conversation about this article
1: Balraj Singh (New Delhi, India), August 12, 2010, 8:38 AM.
One of the great secrets about India, hitherto hidden from the majority around the world, is that you can urinate here anywhere and everywhere, at anytime of the day! Come and experience the freedom - the only real freedom - of Hindustan!
2: Sunny (London, England), August 12, 2010, 8:52 AM.
"Females Beware, Male Leering Ahead." "Extreme Nose Picking Contest, held daily, in public."
3: Jasjeet Kaur (Chandigarh, Punjab), August 12, 2010, 8:53 AM.
Here's how you tell who's an honest man in this country: he actually does what he promised to do when he took a bribe from you to do it! Hope you meet one when you visit India in October!
4: Himmat Singh (Jaipur, India), August 12, 2010, 8:58 AM.
When you meet Sikhs, you address the male as Sardar ji or Sardar Sahib. The female, you address as Sardarni ji, Sardarni Sahiba or Bhen ji. For the rest of the population, just "Oye!" will do.
5: Hardeep Singh (Kanpur, India), August 12, 2010, 9:13 AM.
When traveling in India, especially in the Hindi belt, keep on the lookout for people defecating by the roadside - at all hours of the day and night. You don't want to run over any of them while they're communing with nature - it is considered a source of bad luck in the ancient writings.
6: N.P. Thakur (Patna, Bihar, India), August 12, 2010, 9:27 AM.
You will notice a portrait of Gandhi ji on the wall in every government office in India - with his palm open and directed to you. It is NOT a blessing! It means: "The bribe you are offering is not enough - Please offer FIVE thousand Rupees, not one thousand, for heaven's sake!" If you follow Gandhi ji's advice, all doors will open for you.
7: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), August 12, 2010, 9:35 AM.
Since the guidelines for the 2012 Summer Olympics are out and advising the hosts to refrain from hugging someone from India, nor touching them ... lest you might pollute any twice-born Brahman. I am not sure if Air India is the official carrier or not for the forthcoming Commonwealth Games. Some of the old timers may remember the delightful little booklet "Foolishly Yours" that used to be freely available but not now. To share the matter of hugging, I quote ad verbatim: "On arrival thy air hostess shall give thee a fond farewell embrace; while you are enjoying the bliss in your arms, she is retrieving the airline's silverware from your pocket." At least this covers the perils of hugging.
8: Jim Macleod (London, England), August 12, 2010, 9:47 AM.
Looks like this piece is developing into a posting for your HUMOUR Section! Sad! But India has indeed become such a let down, especially for those like me who are passionate and long-time India-lovers. Will it ever change? Instead, it seems to be sliding downhill in a hurry ...
9: Brijbans Bhatia (Gurgaon, India), August 12, 2010, 10:24 AM.
Why are you people maligning my beautiful country? Don't other countries have their own faults and failures?
10: Bunty Singh (New Delhi, India), August 12, 2010, 11:20 AM.
Be prepared to be gouged if you are a visitor from abroad. The good hotels here now cost far more than their equivalent would in any other capital city of the world - for no reason whatsoever, because things for the locals are still cheaper here than in the rest of the world. There's no excuse for it - if you are a local and know where to go, you can get a decent room in a decent hotel for 1/50 to 1/100 of what you'll have to pay as a foreigner. And, sadly, none of this money filters down into the pockets of the majority in this country - only to a handful of the corrupt who have connections to the corrupt 'elite'.
11: Raj Singh (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), August 12, 2010, 11:25 AM.
I wouldn't take the risk of flying Air India in these times when the Indian government is once again building a cooked-up case against the Sikh collectivity. The last time they were doing this - 25 years ago - they deftly manoeuvred the bombing of an Air India flight and skillfully pointed the finger at the Sikhs! The Indians are making the same noises again - I wouldn't get on an Air India flight for a while, even if my life depended on it! Just be careful - take your own country's airlines.
12: Kamal Kaur (Los Angeles, California, U.S.A.), August 12, 2010, 11:51 AM.
This would not be a good time for "white" visitors to be traveling to India. During normal days, when there are only a few of you around, you get treated like VIPs - Indians retain a deep-seated inferiority complex, a legacy from a thousand years of foreign dominance. During the Commonwealth Games, there will be so many of you that you'll have become simply 'ordinary'! You certainly won't get the most bang for your buck. And if you're used to be treated well from past visits or from visits to other third-world countries, all you'll get this time is the rudeness and bad service Indians consider a norm. Possibly, it could be worse!
13: J.V. Hudson (New Jersey, U.S.A.), August 12, 2010, 12:02 PM.
I would stay clear of all newly-constructed bridges, fly-overs, stadiums, and other structures in New Delhi. Been reading - in the NY Times - about the corruption around the rush to have things ready for October and the billions being siphoned off into some deep pockets at the same time.
14: Gurnam Kaur Singh (Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada), August 12, 2010, 1:04 PM.
Dear Brijbans Bhatia ji (re comment # 9 above): I appreciate and applaud your sensitivity, and your valiant defence of your country. But I do hope your keen sensibilities will help you understand, if the mere recitation of the realities of India irks you and your people so much, then exactly how the Sikhs feel when your government and your nation's bureaucrats weave intricate webs of lies about the Sikhs of the world, merely because they in India find that India is at the receiving end of criticisms over its human rights abuses. If I am catching you by surprise and you are not aware of the goings on in your name and in the name of your billion-strong countrymen, then you may wish to check out the various articles posted on this very website to apprise yourself of the truth. And, I hope, you will do something about it and campaign hard to stop the mischief being carried out in your name. Once your public servants are freed from these distractions, they may find time to correct the ills of your country which, so appropriately, irk you so much and embarrass you to no end.
15: Bishambar Prasad (New York, U.S.A.), August 12, 2010, 7:08 PM.
I am troubled by the universality of anger amongst Sikhs against all the grievous wrongs that have been done to them in the last few decades. These comments here belie the claim by Indian politicians that all is well and behind us vis-a-vis 1984 et al. A pox on the memory and house of Indira Gandhi, and all those who follow her policies today, for tearing India apart in such a manner. I can only pray that India will soon give rise to a leader who will do everything humanly possible to heal the wounds that the Sikhs of India and the world understandably and justifiably suffer from today. Manmohan singh could have been such a leader, but it appears that he is surrounded by too many of the scoundrels who helped create the problem.
16: G.G. Singh (Unionville, Ontario, Canada), August 12, 2010, 11:28 PM.
Upon setting foot in Hindustani soil, be prepared for the chronic "crotch scratchers", a habit found common among the local males. Also, if you come across a couple of guys holding hands ... you may think you've hit the gay district, but rest assured they're only showing their brotherly friendship.
17: Tejinder Singh (London, United Kingdom), August 13, 2010, 3:18 PM.
Bishambar ji: I appreciate your understanding and concerns for the real problem, which needs a healing touch from a leader and the country as a whole. This can only be done if the perpetrators of the Sikh genocide are brought to justice, for which, it appears, chances are very slim as time marches by.
18: Harpreet (Texas, U.S.A.), August 14, 2010, 12:27 AM.
Bishambar ji and Tejinder ji: Bring in the right to self determination as well as the other point. India's constitution and the Indian public (read Hindus) at large still consider Sikhs as part of their Sanatan Dharam and, more importantly, regard Sikhs as their bodyguards.
19: Taran (London, United Kingdom), August 15, 2010, 1:22 AM.
Re Bishambar ji and Brijbans ji: Firstly, I want to start by stating that India is equally mine (as a proud Sikh) as it is yours and everyone else's. And I don't think that we are running a communal riot here on this forum if we are sharing, writing any good/ bad personal experiences here. It is all humour. Nothing personal. Nothing to target any one. Things which are said about on this page happen all over India. The people who are being labeled as corrupt are equally from all the religions including Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, Jains, Parsis, Buddhists, Jews ... Secondly, Bishambar ji talked about a strong leader to heal the wounds of Sikhs. I have a question. In India people are the real power. You remember the cases "Justice 4 Jessica" or may be the Nitish Katara one? When people can hold candle-light vigils and come out in thousands on the streets to garner support for these individual cases, then where are the same people when it comes to 1984 Sikh massacre cases? Where are our Hindu brethren? Why has there not been a strong support from any one or many of them? Also I am a proud Indian but not a happy one as I know in my country it has never been easy. So let's be honest about it. You are asking the people here why are they taking a dig at India? Now if you have traveled abroad then you must know that these very people who wear turbans, they are most easily identified as Indians. They carry the image of India more than you!