The images below are details from the Super-Sikh poster of The Spinning Wheel Film Festival, 2008.
Roundtable
A Dress Code for Women?
The Roundtable Open Forum - Round XV: Feb 10 - 16
EDITOR
The Rules of the forum are posted here on the right, and need to be followed strictly by all participants.
The following is this week's (Feb 10 - 16) topic for discussion, which should focus on the questions posed therein:
A DRESS CODE FOR WOMEN?
1 From time to time, certain images of Sikh women published in this magazine rile a small segment in the community and we receive e-mails objecting to the dress code of the females as shown in those images.
2 The missives get particularly passionate when they're objecting to western modes of dress ... of Sikh women!
3 Generally, Sikh men have never been behind in fashion in any society. They wear suits and ties to work, and tuxedos to formal occasions. Even many of those who resort to the 'bana' in their leisure hours - the blue tunics worn by Nihangs in past centuries, with exaggerated bee-hive turbans, and various paraphernalia - switch to western dress when going to the office on Monday morning; the flowing beards get dressed up, the turban becomes normal, and the suit and tie hide the gatra and kirpan!
4 The same weekend nihangs refuse to tolerate women in western attire and feel they, the men, have the right to dictate what Sikh women should wear - not just those in their own families, but ALL Sikh women.
5 They would like, they say, to have women stick to salwar-kameezes or loose and baggy attire - or, at the extreme, pant-suits - when appearing in public. Anything less, or more revealing - including skirts - is a ‘no-no‘, they say.
6 On the other hand, we have had readers who question why Sikh women are never seen at public swimming pools or on the beaches ... the most recent example being the New Year's Day romp on frozen Lake Ontario last month. A whole platoon of Sikh men, young and old, appeared in appropriate swim attire to brave the icy cold. But no Sikh women were in sight - other than to cheer them on from a distance! Many ask: Is it because swim-suits for women are frowned upon by our otherwise male bravehearts?
QUESTIONS TO PONDER
- Is it acceptable for men in this day and age to delineate and dictate what women can and cannot wear in public?
- Is there anything wrong with wearing 'western' attire? What precisely is the objectionable aspect of it?
- Is it fair for men to dare to be free spirits - as they deem fit - but to keep a lid on women's activities in accordance to their own (men's) whims and prejudices?
- Since our Gurus freed our women from the oppressive strictures overlaid by Hindu and Muslim male-dominated societies centuries ago, is it permissible for us to reverse the progress and push ourselves back towards backward practices?
- Are we falling into the age-old trap by labelling men as hyper-sexual and therefore creating the need to protect our women from them, while ... at the same time ... assuming that women are a-sexual and are in no jeopardy when exposed to attractive men.
- Modesty and decency are important Sikh ideals, but are we using these rubrics to push the envelope too far, or to the dark side of male dominance?
- Who should decide what a woman should wear to work in, say, New York or London or Toronto? Or New Delhi ... Chandigarh? The woman herself? Or her husband? Her in-laws? Her father? Her brother? The b
hai in the gurdwara? The Jathedars in Amritsar?
- What do you, our female readers, wear to work or to school or to play or to parties? What has your experience been ... at home and outside?
February 10, 2010
Conversation about this article
1: Harinder (Banglaore, India), February 10, 2010, 9:02 AM.
Fun of life is in seeing the differences and it is something which is naturally destined. For example, all Sikh woman wearing western dress would be boring. Though some would look attractitve. If Sikh women want to show their originality, then why copy? Design your own dress which may or may not have roots in Sikh/ Punjabi traditions. But for heaven's sake be original and not be copy cats.
2: Tajinder (Montreal, Quebec, Canada), February 10, 2010, 1:07 PM.
Harinder: Why would they have to design their own clothes? Do you design your own garments? If not, then wouldn't you say you're being a copy cat as well? Nobody these days should dictate what a woman (Sikh or otherwise) should wear. Obviously we do have a certain right to critique the outfit, depending on the occasion or even to offer suggestions as to what to wear, but never should we FORCE a woman to wear what we see fit. Why should we, as men, be able to wear what we please while denying women this same freedom? Western fashion is a double-edged sword. Sure, it can be scantily clad but it can also be quite classy and it's up to the woman to create her own look as she sees fit. The fact is that although we have an obligation to stay true to our roots, we must also evolve in synchronization with the world around us. Remember, boys, the female body is a beautiful thing (and I say this with the utmost respect and sincerity to women) and women shouldn't have to suffer behind layers of clothing because God gave them breasts. After all, there ARE instances where being a little underdressed is a necessity; women like water-slides too!
3: Anoop (CollegeStation, Texas, U.S.A.), February 10, 2010, 1:13 PM.
Well, everybody has a choice but just as Sikh men wear turbans to respect our tradition and religion, I think Sikh women also have a moral responsibility to do that. We are not Taliban and we should not enforce a dress code but as a personal choice, Punjabi girls in Punjabi clothing look way more beautiful than wearing anything else.
4: A. Singh (London), February 10, 2010, 1:47 PM.
In my view, we have no right to dictate attire, but especially for Sikh women. As women are objectified much more in western culture then men, they should try to dress modestly ... the style, however, should be their decision.
5: Gur (Boston, U.S.A.), February 10, 2010, 2:16 PM.
An old Punjabi idiom goes like this: 'karo man bhaunda' (do what your mind wants), 'khao dil bhaonda' (eat what your heart wants), 'pehno jag bhaunda' (wear what the world wants). The word 'world' in the above saying can be interpreted in many ways and will imply exactly what it means to any given girl or woman: i.e., her friends, overall society, her family, her partner ... or societal trends and fashions!
6: Darshan Kaur (New Delhi, India), February 10, 2010, 2:44 PM.
I believe that orthodoxy - something frowned upon in Sikhi - involves a stagnant state of mind resulting in cobwebs of the mind, and a general sloppiness both inside and outside. Many of our young men who see banas and undressed beards - and I see nothing wrong with these per se - as their route to salvation, seem to start neglecting their turbans, their clothes, and their overall appearance. Sadly, many of their turbans look like a dog's breakfast; their beards are in no better state. And then they wonder why our young women are turning away from gursikhs to find a partner! Worse still, they then want the women to be the same - dressed in what they, the men, believe reflects orthodoxy, but in fact is nothing but neglect and uncouthness. Even the earliest portraits of our Gurus depict them as Princes. If we had any portraits of the women from the same period, there would be no reason to believe they wouldn't be shown as gorgeous Princesses. I think it is the duty - yes, DUTY! - of every Sikh male and female to look as beautiful and handsome as their resources and societal mores allow. For me, that is what the 'kanga' - the comb, as symbolic article of faith that we wear on our person at all times - is meant to signify: cleanliness and beauty. There is nothing in Sikhi which suggests or condones some of the backward practices being resorted to or advocated by a nutty few today. I see a deep hand of brahmanism creeping into our lives, with obvious vested interests behind them. We need to shake ourselves awake and remember: each Sikh is a Sardar and Sardarni! Just think about what these honorifics really imply.
7: Pardeep (Jalandhar, Punjab), February 10, 2010, 3:57 PM.
If you want to dictate what women wear - convert back to Hinduism or Islam! If you choose to live in the West and dictate that women should only dress in traditional clothing (against their free will) - go back to India and live there. However, you might be surprised that India generally is starting to become more liberal in attitude! One of the basic tenets of Guru Nanak's teachings and the foundations of Sikhism was that men and women are equals. Anyone who treats women as second class citizens and feels they can dictate anything to them against their will does not know the first thing about Sikhism ... turban or no turban. Period!
8: R. Singh (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), February 10, 2010, 5:32 PM.
I would agree with Pardeep: this mindset of dictating to women has got to go. This is becoming ridiculous. This urge to talk down and impose is a sign of not really being comfortable in one's own beliefs, forever looking over the shoulder of another for affirmation.
9: Jasmine (London, U.K.), February 10, 2010, 6:59 PM.
So, I am supposed to think that people should tell me what to wear? Thankfully, I do not live under the rule of a religious taliban, and I never will have decreed for me what I should wear by repressive people who think they can tell people what to do. Many thanks to Pardeep from Jalandhar for stating this most simply. And a further question. When did this Taliban mentality begin to arise in the Sikh community, of telling women what to wear?
10: Ashmeet Kaur (Toronto, Ontario, Canada), February 10, 2010, 9:46 PM.
A veer has written well above which translates into 'wear whatever is suitable for the society around you'. Well, why don't some people realize that females too have a sense of good judgment? If a Sardarni is wearing western clothes to her workplace, doesn't she have the ability to decide that she would look suitable only in a salwar kameez whenever she goes to the gurdwara! Personally, back in India or here in Toronto, I haven't seen one instance where a Sardarni comes to the gurdwara sahib in a skirt! So, it would always be better to let us make our own decisions and judgments so that we too can feel the release of societal pressure. Also, to the best of my knowledge, I am not sure why the sevadars in gurdwaras back home or here eye with anger that odd girl who is doing some seva but is wearing a jeans and t-shirt! I have always wondered about this and will always do!
11: Kirpal Singh (Daytona Beach, Florida, U.S.A.), February 11, 2010, 8:40 AM.
We claim Sikhism is a Universal World Religion which I personally believe it is. Then why can it not be multicultural as far as clothing, cuisine, language, etc. are concerned? Are we confusing Sikhism with Punjabi or Indian culture?
12: Mohan Singh (Toronto, Ontario, Canada), February 11, 2010, 10:29 AM.
Each religion has a dress code (I.D.), even though many have disappeared through time. Nowadays, these dress codes are mostly confined to church, gurdwara, masjid, mandir, synagogue, etc. and to some religious ceremonies. In Islam, a woman is covered in a veil at the age of 11 and no outsider one can see her thereafter. In Christianity, it is the opposite. For them, it's as if the whole world is invited into the bathroom. The Sikh community has chosen the middle path. For Sikh women, there is the gracious salwar and kameez with a beautiful dupatta. You may have it colourful or plain, it's still gorgeous. When the British were ruling India, we rejected their products, their culture and their dress. Now, when we come here, we cut our name, our hair and our clothess. The whole world is being replicated like the western world ... western calendar, western (English) language, western culture and western dress. The real image of our religion is within us; our root is in our language and in our culture. Please love it.
13: Gurmeet Kaur (Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A.), February 11, 2010, 12:53 PM.
I am sorry, but this is the most un-intelligent Roundtable topic that I have come across on sikhchic.com. Our time is better spent on a constructive dialogue on more important issues. If we believe that our women are not a herd of cattle, we have no business deciding what they should or should not wear. They alone have the right and responsibility to project themselves the way they deem sensible. Clothing is not only an an expression of values or culture but also of company, place, occasion and mood. Let it be the reflection of a person alone - male or female.
14: Jasleen Kaur (U.S.A.), February 11, 2010, 4:46 PM.
I guess I take a bit of a middle path on this subject. I see no problem in western dress. My dastaar looks just as good with jeans as with bana. However, I don't think a gursikh girl needs to go the extreme of mini-skirts and tank tops. Of course, I don't think I know any gursikh women who feel the need to wear mini-skirts. The idea that men can wear what they want and women can't, seems a bit sexist. But we should also recognize that men don't generally go around in short-shorts, so if we want to be equal with men, why the need to surpass them in showing skin? We're supposed to treat men as our brothers, fathers and sons. Do we need to dress in an overly sexual way to impress our family? Probably not. I guess my point is, follow Guru Sahib's hukam and use common sense. Isn't that what Sikhi is about?
15: Ekjot Singh (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), February 11, 2010, 10:27 PM.
I must agree that women do have the right to wear what they want, especially in the Sikh religion. However, I have seen Sikh girls who dress in very revealing clothes. They will wear really short skirts, short shorts or other way too revealing clothing. They should be allowed to wear whatever they want; however, girls should dress modestly (I must point out that most Sikh guys also wear inappropriate clothing). There's nothing wrong with jeans, t-shirts or whatever else. Western attire is fine, as long as guys and girls don't go overboard.
16: Bhupinder Singh Ghai (New Delhi, India), February 12, 2010, 7:21 AM.
This topic reminds me of a line by Guru Nanak: "kamarband santokh ka dhan joban tera naam, baba hor painan khushi khuar, jith paindhe tan peeriah man mein chale vikar." Our Gurus never prescribed any dress code. The rehat maryada only specifies one piece of compulsory attire and that is Kachchera. The only thumb rule is that it should be right for the occasion. But an attire which leads the mind to be tempted to sin should be avoided. I believe that dressing provocatively is hard-wired into our system as an evolutionary trait to attract the best mate. However, we have no right to tell females what to wear or not. I have written this before that when I was studying in a Sikh school in Delhi not very long ago, all the girls used to wear skirts like all their peers. Today, the dress is Talibanized into salwar-kameezes which are very cumbersome for little girls. I do not seem to find any logic behind this move. Being from the fashion industry, I also think that all western dresses are not meant for the asian body type. Some girls do wear them and the result is a disaster.
17: Gurjender Singh (Maryland, U.S.A.), February 12, 2010, 7:37 AM.
Our Gurus never talked or discussed about a dress code for Sikh men and women. They only talked about moral and ethical values of life being a Sikh which we all are forgetting. For Sikh men and women, dress should be modest and acceptable to others and the community you live in, without compromising Sikh ideals.
18: Navi (Pennsylvania, U.S.A.), February 12, 2010, 5:56 PM.
I would like us to remember that each one of us is a princess, a sardarni. We should command this status with our "presence", our aura, not only with our dress but also our words and actions.
19: Kartar Singh Bhalla (New Delhi, India), February 13, 2010, 1:20 AM.
Darshan Kaur (New Delhi, India) has put it beautifully: "I think it is the duty - yes, DUTY! - of every Sikh male and female to look as beautiful and handsome as their resources and societal mores allow." She concludes with meaningful words: "Each Sikh is a Sardar and Sardarni! Just think about what these honorifics really imply." I would say each Sikh is a prince and princess and should look no less. Tajinder (Montreal, Quebec, Canada) has hit the nail on the head: "Remember, boys, the female body is a beautiful thing (and I say this with the utmost respect and sincerity to women) and women shouldn't have to suffer behind layers of clothing because God gave them breasts." If I may be permitted to say: Cleavage exposure is all right up to a certain extent but going too much down will make a woman look cheap and should be avoided. I would like Sikh women to look beautiful and dress elegantly. I am not against western dress. Every woman's body is unique. She should wear what looks nice on her body and makes her look great, not cheap and over-sexy. The dress of a woman should be occasion-centric and place-centric. In a gurdwara, a tight-fit or revealing dress is inappropriate. On a sad occasion, the dress should be sober in colour and design. In school, a teacher should wear a dress in which she looks dignified. At the work place, the dress may be western or Punjabi but in keeping with the work place atmosphere. Shorts which are too short, for example, would be out-of-place. Bridal dress and heavy jewellery are unsuitable in offices or schools. Flashy clothes are alright in evening parties. In no dress should a women expose her body so much that onlookers may start making crude remarks.
20: Gurteg Singh (New York, U.S.A.), February 13, 2010, 1:32 AM.
Sikhism is a universal religion and there is no dress code. However gurbani's teachings and the Sikh ethos clearly emphasize modesty for all, men and women.
21: Brijinder Singh (New York City, U.S.A.), February 14, 2010, 10:48 AM.
Just because something is western doesn't mean that it is better. I think salwar kameez looks just as beautiful as any western dress. However, it is the woman's choice what she wants to wear. As long as she doesn't look sleazy. In India, sometimes I feel people get swept up in the spirit of liberalization and westernization, as if anything that is western is hip and anything that is traditional is uncool. However, sometimes they can take this spirit too far and do things that are inappropriate even by western standards.
22: Gurmeet Kaur (Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A.), February 15, 2010, 1:35 PM.
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, On Clothes - And the weaver said, "Speak to us of Clothes." And he answered: Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful. And though you seek in garments the freedom of privacy you may find in them a harness and a chain. Would that you could meet the sun and the wind with more of your skin and less of your raiment, For the breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind. Some of you say, "It is the north wind who has woven the clothes to wear." But shame was his loom, and the softening of the sinews was his thread. And when his work was done he laughed in the forest. Forget not that modesty is for a shield against the eye of the unclean. And when the unclean shall be no more, what were modesty but a fetter and a fouling of the mind? And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
23: Sanmeet Kaur (Brampton, Ontario, Canada), February 16, 2010, 11:31 AM.
I never thought clothes were a religious issue. Dress according to occasion, place and what the figure permits, has always been my golden three-rule staple. Similarly, I feel decency and modesty are characteristics. You could be covered from head to toe and yet be indecent and/or immodest. However, hypocrisy is definitely something that I have encountered time and again in the Sikh community. I wonder why we hang on to ideas, insisting they become ideals when we don't practice them. I'm also wondering which current-day swimsuit falls into the definition of modest in all the comments above. Ironically, it may not be acceptable at any pool or gym today. I have to re-ask Sardar Kirpal Singh ji's question: Are we all confusing Sikhism with Punjabi or Indian culture?
24: Roop Kaur (Melbourne, Australia), February 16, 2010, 8:13 PM.
I think everyone should be entitled to wear what they wish. In moving to a western country, I believe that certain changes need to be made in order to adapt and blend into the different communities and I think that's why certain women prefer to wear westernized clothing so as not to stand out of the crowd too much. However, there is a certain line that needs to be drawn, and I guess that's up to the individuals themselves. It annoys me when some people talk about how "Sikhi says this, and Sikhi says that", when it is in fact the Punjabi/ Indian culture talking. Although I personally believe like many of my fellow Sikh brothers/ sisters that women look so beautiful in salvar-kameez suits! In my opinion, I find that being born and bred in Australia, I tend to appreciate traditional clothing much more when I don't wear it on a regular basis.
25: Ravinder Kaur (Calgary, Alberta, Canada), February 17, 2010, 1:41 AM.
Frankly, I am appalled that such a topic would grace a Roundtable discussion. It exhibits the regressive nature and attitudes of the mind set of some of our people. Our Gurus, as stated by others, did not limit women in any way but provided the utmost equality and respect to women. Does it matter what anyone wears? Most self-respecting individuals, men and women, dress according to their environment, be it professional or personal. Some women and men tend to be exhibitionists; however, that may be the path chosen by them for whatever reasons. We are all products of our environment and experiences and react accordingly, some by adopting outer insignia, others more internal behavior. The question is: do women fully comprehend their role in the home and society in today's age. Women are daughters, sisters, wives and mothers and as such keepers of many relationships. And in this day and age, in many homes, we are also wage earners. The ability to balance this role can only be achieved through spiritual strength and that perhaps should be the focus. It is not clothes that make an individual, rather the moral and ethical values imbibed and displayed by the individual.
26: Manjeet Kaur (Batala, Punjab), September 16, 2012, 4:11 AM.
I agree with Ravinder Kaur ji (Calgary, Alberta, Canada): it's not appropriate to say that a Sikh girl is crossing the line if she wears jeans or capris instead of salwar kameez. I am an amritdhari, and I wear both salwar-kameez suits as well as jeans, according to my convenience. But it's very sad when someone asks me, why aren't you wearing a suit or why are you wearing a capri. All I say to them is that my clothes are not any criteria on which you should be judging me. I have my faith and beliefs very well imbibed in me (thanks to my parents) and what I wear is not in any way linked to my spirituality. I personally feel capris or jeans are more comfortable as compared to suits. All that matters is our values, ideas, faith in Waheguru. Society is nothing but a group of people whom you can never satisfy. They will always be complaining about something or the other. My idea is to live a free life rather than being a fake person who wears a "saint-like" look outside but is a "Satan" inside.
27: Juan Gavira (Spain), September 20, 2012, 4:35 PM.
I'm a West European interested in Sikhism and mainly in service of God daily as best as I can do it. Extreme positions are both bad. Nobody has the right to tell other people how to dress but everybody knows the limits between dressing modestly and dressing in an indecent way, full of lust and pride. Being an European, I think that there is no problem with western dress for men or women if the person chooses modest dresses but could be dangerous (for the soul and the society) if people choose exhibitionism, narcissism, lust or pride. It's very important to note that immodest dress is not only an expression of kaam but may be more an expression of ahankaar. Human beings aren't supermen or superwomen but souls that should love and serve Waheguru. Of course, everybody is free to choose ahankaar instead of nimrata (bad choice, but they are free ... for people that try to serve God, it is better to avoid these people, that's all). Western dress is okay but only if it's modest and humble. I hope my opinion could be useful for somebody. Wjkk Wjkf.
28: Harpal (United Kingdom), February 20, 2013, 2:13 PM.
I think both eastern and western clothes look good but one must realize that you have to look respectable too. For example I sometimes wear my bana to work with a shawl draped around me ... sometimes I wear trousers which are loose fitting and a long tunic like a top which looks like a kurta and a shawl. As someone mentioned before Sikhi ethos states that men and women must look modest hence I wear high necks. I understand that in some work places you have to wear western clothes but I have also witnessed some Asians who feel embarrassed to wear traditional clothing. Some Asians just want to fit in western society, but bear one thing in mind ... did the British change their dress code for us when they ruled our countries?