Humour
Standard Cosmetics Launches Water- Resistant Fixxo
by 'AFTAB HUSSEIN'
Sorry, Guys! Bad news ... no 'water-resistant' fixxo! And good news for those who agreed with us ... it wasn't a very hygenic or Sikh-friendly idea to begin with! It is all fiction ... from beginning to end ... purely the figment of an idle and somewhat demented mind!
But, have a wonderful April Fools' Day!
A spokesman for Standard Cosmetics and Chemicals Co. - a company which recently acquired the rights to "Fixxo", the gel used by generations of Sikh-Indians to groom their beards - announced this morning that it is launching a new water-resistant beard-grooming product for Sikh males.
Scheduled to be available in major markets around the world through local outlets - such as Boots in the U.K., Shoppers' Drug Mart in Canada, Rexall in the U.S., and Bablee's in India - by Vaisakhi Day this year, it is already on the shelves in an aggressive campaign to capture the growing market in the diaspora.
Branded under the new name, "Sohna", it depicts famous Elvis-impersonator Peter Singh on its 400 mL deep-blue glass bottle. The product has been named a "Beard Conditioner" and is available in three strengths - Firm, Extra-Firm and Super-Firm.
Raunaq Singh, Senior Vice-President, Marketing, at Standard Cosmetics - he cuts an imposing figure in his multi-coloured turban and, as he claims, a beard exclusively groomed with Sohna beard conditioner for the last few months - explains the qualities of the new product:
"We have introduced a new product - metacequeline ("MQ") - which hitherto has only been used by professional hairdressers in Europe and America for clients in the carriage trade. It is the primary ingredient in Sohna and makes it so uniquely special.
"MQ is known for its water-resistant properties. It is long-lasting without doing any damage to the texture of the hair.
"Thus, it is ideal for use by our Sikh clients, especially in humid climes. Moreover, the Sohna user can elect to keep his facial-hair dry during his daily shower, and therefore not have to re-groom his beard for more than once a week!"
This represents a major breakthrough in Sikh male personal-care products - probably the first innovation since Maharaja Sher Singh began the Sikh style of grooming beards in the 1830s in the court of his father, Maharaja Ranjit Singh, the great Emperor of the Sikhs who is still hailed as the Lion of Punjab.
A number of well-known Sikh personalities have already been introduced to the product and said to be using them regularly as a product of preference, though it has generally been kept under wraps until this juncture.
The new Sardar Super Model, Sonny (Sundeep Singh) Caberwal, who makes his debut this Spring through the fashion pages of the GQ Magazine, is said to have used Sohna, during his by-now famous photo-shoot in Germany. Both he and his agent, however, have refused to comment on the usage.
Fashion World has also learnt through anonymous sources that the Annual Vaisakhi Gala scheduled to be held under the aegis of The Centennial Foundation at The Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, Canada, on April 18, is planning a surprise for its 500+ attendees that evening - a "surprise" visit by Dr. Sanmeet Singh Channa of Standard Cosmetics, who will "officially" launch the new product for North America at the gala. Also, free samples of the product are expected to be handed out to all ticket-holders that night.
All product enquiries can be addressed to Sohna@IndiaMail.com
Further production information on Sohna is available on Standard's website.
[Courtesy: Fashion World]
March 31, 2009
Conversation about this article
1: Ajit Singh (New Delhi, India), March 31, 2009, 10:32 PM.
I have been one of the fortunate ones who got a bottle of Sohna in its earlier days. And I must say that I cannot do without it anymore. It sits permanently in my vanity bag, especially since I travel a lot. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
2: Reshami Kaur (Kanpur, India), March 31, 2009, 10:36 PM.
I will be the first one to thank God for this new product. Fixxo has virtually destroyed our marriage - it smells, it does not last long on a humid day, and my husband does not look good in it. He seems to have a bad beard day everyday. Thank you ...
3: Gurteg Singh (U.S.A.), March 31, 2009, 11:00 PM.
This looks more like a marketing promo for the so called Fixxo. I never knew people still use it in the age of Gel. Just a few drops of water and blow dry for two three minutes does the trick for most and looks absolutely natural and most handsome. In fact most young Sikhs now prefer the flowing beards.
4: P.Singh (Canada), April 01, 2009, 12:09 AM.
"Moreover, the Sohna user can elect to keep his facial-hair dry during his daily shower, and therefore not have to re-groom his beard for more than once a week!" That is horrible hygiene. Please dear Singhs, don't leave your beard tied up for one week, no matter the 5-10 minutes it saves you in the morning. Wash it out at night, get a good night's sleep, and apply the hair gel in the morning.
5: Jandu S. Litteranwala (U.S.A.), April 01, 2009, 12:57 PM.
Can't help but agree with P. Singh's comments. The very idea of leaving your beard unwashed "for more than a week" will render you a social outcast not to mention cause embarrassment for the whole Sikh community. This disgusting suggestion advocated by the company's owner, also goes against the principles of Ishnaan in Sikhi. In addition, the last thing young Sikhs in the West want to look like is an "Elvis impersonator". This company could have chosen someone else to have on the bottle. I can't help but feel this piece is a joke. Either that or extremely reckless marketing for an already questionable and dated product.
6: Basant Singh (Chandigarh, Punjab), April 01, 2009, 1:14 PM.
If they can come up with an even firmer hold - "Cement Power" - it could serve an additional and more useful purpose. We could lure all our current politicians to use the product. The result? Their mouths would be tightly shut for a week at a time. If nothing intelligent is to come out of their mouths, nothing should!
7: Balkar Singh (Buffalo, NY, U.S.A.), April 01, 2009, 4:12 PM.
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Well, actually, I didn't. You got us all, fair and square! A good one!
8: Baldev Singh (United States), April 02, 2009, 11:53 AM.
This was a cruel joke. I am so depressed now. Why did you have to lie? There goes my scuba diving and swimming championship dreams. ;-) ... Back to my hair spray, which works better than Miss Fixxo, though.
9: D.Singh (Canada), April 02, 2009, 8:39 PM.
Hair spray, extra hold, is the best. I stopped using fixxo ten years ago.
10: Tejwant Singh (U.S.A.), April 03, 2009, 4:17 PM.
This fixxo only works when used with dry water.
11: Param (U.S.A.), October 02, 2010, 10:38 AM.
... and does anyone know the health effects on inhaling the chemicals in hair spray and related products? Please be careful; I recommend using sparingly, for limited time during the day ...