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Below: from a painting, "Mother", by Morteza Katouzian

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Who Will You Call?
Mummy, Of Course!

by GURMEET KAUR

 

 

Helplessness and me do not ever go together, but this time I was completely it; physically that is.

Doctors had put me on strict bed-rest to avoid premature birth of the baby, who was chomping at the bit to see the world.

Years earlier, her brother too had been some 6 weeks early, so all the reason to be more careful. It was a scheduled C-Section and I was surrounded by two men and a cat. Sometimes I was starving and at other times I would get 3 huge plates of food and was asked not to bother them for the next 24 hours! The home was looking like a storage place and cat litter was stinking the neighborhood.

Don't get me wrong they are not mean ... they're just, well, men! That's what men do, I have come to learn.

My son was not used to his personal secretary, cook, chauffer, and manager taking time off. He was not eating well and getting thinner by the day.  

My husband is very good in taking care of himself but is clueless in the kitchen and ... let's see how should I put it politely - just dump it anywhere" is his philosophy of putting things in place.

I was truly distressed.

42 years old, and guess who I call?

Mummy!

"Come now.  Move your tickets. I need you now!"

She had already booked her tickets and moved them once on account of new dates for the surgery but I couldn't deal with the bed-rest without her care. I had some wonderful friends who offered all kinds of help, brought meals over and helped me get ready for the big day.

But I needed my Mom.

The day she came to see me, the water broke and I went to the hospital.

For the next six weeks, she cooked and cleaned non-stop and practically lived in the kitchen. We had eight people, including my in-laws (who, by God's grace, are great eaters), at our little home.

She made me special herbal concoctions, and nut-milks, fresh vegetables and rotis and all good post-partum foods.

In our small home, everyone had a room but her. She slept on a mattress in the living room, next to a small suitcase of her belongings.

There was a time when I used to say - I have learnt something from my mother and - that is - what you should never do to your child.

After my divorce from my first husband, she and the rest of my family had disowned me for years. She would come to the U.S., even my town, to visit my other siblings and leave without seeing me. I would cry and yearn for her. She had other children, but I had only one mother. How could she do this to me?  

My son also yearned for his grandma. Other grandchildren got plenty of her love and time. But him - only the reasoning that he has no one because he is my son. He was being punished for something that was not his fault.

But those painful days are history now. Slowly, things turned around. My family learnt that I was not such a monster that I had been painted to be, and I was trying my best to raise my child single-handedly. They relented. Blood is thicker than water, they say. It took a decade or so, but things were set right.

She called me one day and we both cried. She came.

She was not there for me when I had my first one but she redeemed herself with my daughter.

Now, I say - I have learnt a lot from my mother, the most important of them all is - how to make things right. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you have the character and courage to mend them.  

She does.

I love you, Mother. I know you never stopped loving me as well. I am so thankful that things are set straight while both of us are still alive.

Happy Mother's Day!

 

May 8, 2011

Conversation about this article

1: Manpreet (Alpharetta, Georgia, U.S.A.), May 08, 2011, 11:14 AM.

Beautiful! "Jahan gyan thah dharam hai, jahan jhooth thah paap, jahan lobh thah kaal hai, jahan khima thah Aap", by Kabir ji.

2: Amardeep (U.S.A.), May 08, 2011, 5:53 PM.

Happy Mother's Day, Gurmeet. Such a touching story. Keep enjoying your motherhood. We all have to learn from life.

3: Balwant Singh (Richmond, Virginia, U.S.A.), May 08, 2011, 6:35 PM.

Thanks for sharing your feelings on Mother's Day. You have confirmed that a mother's bond of love with children is never broken.

4: Parmjit Singh (Canada), May 09, 2011, 2:47 AM.

Honest, real, and beautiful. Thanks for sharing this story about two courageous mothers.

5: L.S (California, USA), May 26, 2013, 5:48 AM.

Thank you for sharing such a lovely episode. I am at least a couple of years behind, so wondering if there would be any changes between the mother - daughter relationship. Were they able to forgive each other? In times of need, desperation kicks in and redesigns our whole priority system. I am just curious as it would be so difficult for the daughter to forgive on behalf of her son who she thinks was left out when other kids were enjoying the love and grace of Grandma.

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Mummy, Of Course!"









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