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All images are details from the work of renowned cartoonist Dalbir Singh of SikhPark fame.

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Hey Kids! Know Some Good Santa Jokes?

by MICHELE GIBSON

 

 

Santa Singh is due back in town - in fact, in every city, town and village - shortly, to celebrate the Gurpurab of Guru Gobind Singh, which is around the corner ... January 5, 2011.

Known by many names and in varying forms around the world, and tied to a bunch of different traditions, Santa Singh - like a true Sikh - is always in Chardi Kalaa as he spreads joy and happiness around the world.

Here are a few Santa jokes I have found which tell us about his true nature!

 

Why does Santa wear a red turban?  

To match his red suit, of course!

 

Why does Santa say 'Ho, Ho, Ho'?

Because people don't ubderstand "Oye, Oye, Oye!"

 

Why does Santa stop at all Gurdwaras?

Because he l-o-o-v-e-s parshaad!

 

What does Santa say when he's late for langar?

"OH, OH, OH!"

 

Why does Santa live at the North Pole?

Because there's no snow in Punjab!

 

What's Santa's Favourite Snack?

Kismis Cake!

 

Why don't Santa's reindeer want carrots any more?

Because they prefer gaajjar da halwa!

 

Why does Santa like masala chai when he's flying?

Because the cloves keep him warm!

 

What does Santa sing as he flies through the starry skies?

Kirtan Sohela!

 

Why are Santa's boots so high?

Because his kacchha stops at his knees!

 

What did Santa say to the lazy elf?

Hurry up, puttar, and put on your patka!

 

Why does Santa go to Amrita's house first?

Because she leaves him pinni and lassi!

 

What does Santa say when he finishes the pinni and lassi?

"Balle! Balle! Balle!"

 

What does Santa say when he sneezes?

"Satnaam WaheGuru!" What else would he say?

 

What did the reindeer say to the Bhangra dancers?

There's too much jingal in your bells!

 

Why does Rudolph feel safe traveling with Santa?

Because Santa has a kirpan!

 

Why are the reindeer fed a lot of daal for breakfast?

Because their flight is powerred by natural gas!

 

How does Santa stay unnoticed the rest of the year?

By wearing other colour turbans!

 

 

I'M SURE YOU HAVE BETTER ONES! PLEASE SHARE THEM BY POSTING THEM BELOW ...

December 16, 2010

Conversation about this article

1: Bulbul (New Delhi, India), December 16, 2010, 10:11 AM.

What's the most popular gift from Santa? The book, "Hari Puttar"!

2: Pinky (Leeds, United Kingdom), December 16, 2010, 1:01 PM.

What are the names of Santa's helpers? Chhotu and Motu, Billo and Banto ...! What are the names of Santa's reindeer? Basanti and Gulabo, Shera and Jeeta ...! [Does any one know the names of the other elves and reindeer?]

3: Nanaki Mom (San Diego, California, U.S.A.), December 16, 2010, 1:13 PM.

What pleases Santa the most? A child who can recite the Mool Mantar!

4: Sangat Singh (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), December 16, 2010, 2:55 PM.

Little Jeeya got into Santa Singh's lap and Santa being overly fond of lovely little girls asked: "What would you like for Christmas, Beta?" Jeeya stared at him, open-mouthed and horrified, and then gasped: "Didn't you get my e-mails?" "I am sorry," said Santa Singh, "the server was down!"

5: Mohan Singh (Toronto, Ontario, Canada.), December 17, 2010, 9:47 AM.

Guru Ramdas, GGS: 977/978: Har ho ho ho nadar nihaal. ||1|| rahaa-o - "The Lord shall bless you with His Glance of Grace, and you shall be enraptured." Har ho ho ho likhat likhantee. ||1|| rahaa-o - "Meet with the Lord, according to your pre-ordained destiny." Har ho ho ho mel nihaal. ||1|| rahaa-o - "Meeting with the Lord, you be enraptured." According to Prof. Sahib Singh, 'Ho Ho Ho' stands for 'O mind, oh mind, oh my mind!'

6: Nirmal Kaur (Leon, France), December 17, 2010, 9:54 AM.

Thank you, Mohan Singh ji. I always knew that Santa was a Sardar through and through! Here's more evidence!

7: Pappu (Mohali, Punjab), December 17, 2010, 11:05 AM.

What do the elves call Santa? Bhaaiyya-ji!

8: Jessie Kaur (Missouri, U.S.A.), December 17, 2010, 11:21 AM.

What is Santa's wife's name? Shanti Kaur!

9: Aryeh Leib (Israel), December 21, 2010, 3:58 AM.

We Jews have had centuries of experience with this particular holiday, and have come up with our own unique solutions. This one can just as well be translated into a Sikh context ... A boy and his mother are in a department store at this time of year. The mother urges the child to join the other children lined up to get a present from Santa - but he demurs. She insists, and he dutifully gets on line. As he sits on Santa's lap, the fat man in the red suit says, "Ho, ho, ho! And, what would YOU like for Christmas, young man?" The boy replies, "I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish." To which Santa exclaims, "Oib azoi, nem tzvai!" (Yiddish for, "If that's the case, take two!").

10: Mohan Singh (Toronto, Ontario, Canada.), December 21, 2010, 9:29 AM.

December is the month of Parivar Vichhora of Guru Gobind Singh. The two elder sons of Guru Gobind Singh were martyred in December, and the two younger sons were also bricked alive in December. These occasions are traditionally observed with devotional singing in late December. A true Sikh remains centered on the divine, no matter what. When deciding how to spend your holidays, consider the company you wish to keep and the direction you wish to grow, as your actions may affect your family, may cause a strain in relations between family or sangat (spiritual companions). Whatever course of action you decide upon, do so with humility, so that you cause no hurt. When faced with a situation which may compromise your commitment as Khalsa, gracefully refuse. Giving is part of the Sikh way of life and is not restricted to any particular day of the year.

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